author: Dr. Tim Kimmel

genre: Marriage & Family

        As an information junkie, becoming a mother meant reading every recommended parenting book I could get my hands on. Then I decided they were making me crazy and swore them off. I was through with the guilt I inevitably felt with every turn of the page, tired of the feelings of ineptitude that haunted the ending of each chapter, and finished with the uneasiness that lingered when the suggestions offered did not gel with my experience. I decided—ENOUGH!–my Bible and my mom would be my resources.

        Then I stumbled upon Dr. Tim Kimmel’s Grace Based Parenting. Intrigued by a book that unabashedly claimed a place for tenderness and mercy in parenting, I took it home and dove in that night. To my delight, I found, in plain words and with great reliance on Scripture, a revolutionary plan for parenting: follow God’s lead. The premise is simple. God raises us with a profound, life-changing grace. It is His grace that frees us, empowers us, and ultimately saves us. Shouldn’t we then pass it along to our children, creating for them the same kind of foundation we find in our heavenly Father?  

      Kimmel believes that the goal of graced based parenting should be to meet the three “driving inner needs” for our children—for security, significance and strength. This is accomplished through a “delivery system” that allows them the freedom to be different, vulnerable, candid and to make mistakes. With careful use of Scripture and entertaining personal anecdotes, Kimmel helps to make clear both theological and philosophical ideas.

       Lest you think grace based parenting “allows children to make their own decisions at the expense of moral absolutes,” Kimmel argues that any grace absent of truth is not grace at all. He makes a clear case for discipline and consequences. Just as God disciplines us because He loves us, grace based parenting demands that we discipline our children in love.

        My only complaint—I wish Dr. Kimmel had given me a few more concrete suggestions for the daily implementation of grace based parenting.  Since this is more of a parenting philosophy than a set of step-by-step instructions, he does not spend as much time giving examples of what to do in specific situations.

         That said, Kimmel’s book did encourage and challenge me, helping me to realize that while I walk on clay feet, God’s example of mercy, grace and truth in my own life can be a great guide to raising my little loves.

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